New Species: The ‘Lert


March 16, 2016 by The Dog Rules


They’re everywhere. They come in all sizes, shapes and forms. Silently observing your every move, they follow your movements with covert laser-beam eyes and perky radar ears. If you should happen to look their way they are instantly occupied with some (other) minutia. Some rarely, if ever, break their cover.

New Species: The A-Lert

They delicately inveigle their way into our lives. They cunningly wrap our hearts in their paws. We never notice that we’ve been taken-in until we are irrevocably captured and under their enchantment and then it is too late.

There are times when it is possible for us to see through the enchantment. In that most holy of places for the ‘Lert, “The Temple That Is The Kitchen” they sometimes forget themselves and show their true colors. With feigned disinterest they casually make their rounds to inspect the Kitchen Floor, looking for a potential offering. Some of the smaller variety also patrol the Counters when we are not looking. If, by some odd chance, we notice them they instantly look away to disarm us with the “I wasn’t doin’ nuffin'” look. The smaller one sits and polishes his face and fore-paws. The larger simply departs like he was merely looking for something he misplaced. It is the big sigh that gives him away.

So look at your dog… your cat… Are they secretly a ‘Lert?

The A-Lerts Strike Again



4 thoughts on “New Species: The ‘Lert

  1. Leah says:

    Oh, yes, indeed! I just tip-toed past a snoring honey (one of our newest charges), only to accidentally tap the empty food dish with my toe.

    How could Honey be a ´lert while snoring?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Haha! Yes, I know the Lert quite well. Thanks for my first morning chuckle.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Poor Robert says:

    In my house there is no secret about it. We are so completely captured that ours has dispensed with any pretense.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Vicky says:

    I have two cat ‘Lerts in my Cyprus home.(My son looks after them when I am away, he is Cat Lover boy, so they are spoilt hugely and rule the house) When I go home,they disdainfully strut past me, shake off my affection. You so know they are paying me back for leaving them and they haunt my room when I am home. Leave my bedroom door open and they hide, waiting to pay me back for abandoning them …That is their ‘Lert haunt… I wake with cat in my eye… I buy treats, special food, but they don’t forgive me… They are’Lert! One day, when I go home for good, maybe the balance will redress? Hmmm. I love your new species, you are so right!

    Liked by 1 person

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The Dog Rules

The Dog Rules

Once the proud guardian of a rather cheeky Border Collie/Aussie Cattle Dog mix, may she forever rest in peace, my favourite activities were those things that included my canine friend. Now I have a new canine buddy in my life. He's also a Border Collie and sassy like my girl was. We're in the middle of an adventure; teaching him how to be a good canine citizen I spend my spare time volunteering at the local animal shelter as a dog walker/trainer. You can read all about it @

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